Tips for making the first few months easier
Initially, a newborn’s arrival can be
overwhelming for new mothers. Many women have a birth plan, but very
few create a post partum plan. This often overlooked detail is a
crucial part of maintaining sanity in the first few months. All new
moms experience feelings of insecurity, worrying about how to care for a
new infant. This is completely normal, and an example of how Mother
Nature sees to a job well done. All of us are endowed with an innate
wisdom; genetically imprinted behaviors to insure the survival of the
species. Your increased mental focus will make you a great mom. Relax;
follow your instincts, rely on them and know that you are not alone.
This has been done before and there is plenty of help! What you need is
a stable of “Mentor Moms”.
Mentor moms are the women in your life
who are veterans at what you are going through. They can be your
mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, or trusted friend. They have seen
this before and some of them have sage advice. Don’t be afraid to ask
for their help, the women in your life are eager to support you. The
caveat is to have relationships with the right people to help you
through these trying times. Establishing a support network, starting
with those from who you will be taking council, is the most important
component of setting up your post partum birth plan. Surround yourself
with women who where successful in executing their own birth plans and
who employed early child rearing techniques you intend to model. Listen
and experiment with what resonates with your style of parenting.
Discard information that is not congruent with your beliefs but always
be open to healthy council and good ideas.
It is critical to read before, during
and after pregnancy. There are many books covering topics from sleep
and breastfeeding to health issues for the mother and child. I suggest
having an idea of what you want in order to have a template to follow.
Information can be used to fill in the blank parts of this template and
“connect the dots” to where it is you want to go. I remember reading a
book once about getting your baby to sleep through the night. I
realized, after I had read ¾ of the book that the author and I had
completely incongruent child rearing philosophies. I put the book down
and found another one that was a better fit and worked well for my baby
and me.
One of the key members of your team
should be a post partum doula. A doula is a professionally trained and
licensed individual specializing in the care of the new mother and her
baby. They are an invaluable part of your support team. A good Doula
should be knowledgeable in the areas of breastfeeding and infant needs
as well as post partum mother care. They help around the house with
things like laundry, tidying up and cooking. A truly great Doula is
part coach and should be a delegator to the rest of the postpartum team
and other family members. Finding the time to care for yourself during
this time is important too, your Doula will help you achieve this
balance.
Talk with your Doula about realistic
expectations after your birth, and give her license to screen your
visitors. It is important to keep your house free from too many people.
Initially you want to keep the baby’s exposure to other peoples germs
at a minimum. Those select visitors you allow into your home should not
come empty handed either. Let them bring prepared food or diapers;
there are even some you can let do a load of wash! Place a message on
your answering machine with the vital information people are calling for
(baby’s arrival, weight, length, name etc.) Let them know everyone is
fine and you will return calls when you have time. Don’t feel compelled
to answer the phone every time it rings. This is a time for you to get
to know your baby without worrying about entertaining others.
One last tip that may seem basic, but
many women overlook, is to SLEEP when your baby sleeps. This is not the
time to worry about a messy house or dishes in the sink. It is ok to
let it go, make sure to get your rest too or you will start having
difficulty coping. Now is the time to let go of the “shoulds” (I should
clean up etc). This is a precious time in your and your new infant’s
life. It passes quickly, enjoy it; spend time getting to know each
other. Follow your heart and get the help you need. |
